Reflections on life, marriage, and purpose...by a young woman who is constantly learning how much there will always be to learn!


Tuesday, May 30, 2006

What can a wife do...

...to help and encourage a husband who is tired of and frustrated with his current job? Micah has a very entrepreneurial spirit, and would LOVE to work for himself. He absolutely thrives on thinking about and implementing his own business ideas. We're not to the place yet, though, where we can depend on that for our sole income. I'm looking for ideas to lift his spirits!

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband went through this last year. He was increasingly dissatisfied and discouraged about his job. I found the absolute best thing to do was to pray for him faithfully. His frustration made him more apt to compromise his witness and he didn't want that. I also tried to be just a listening ear to his frustrations and, when I could, offer some advice. I'm happy to say that now my husband is working with a new company and he truly adores his job. Praise the Lord!

1:24 PM, May 30, 2006  
Blogger Mary Ann said...

I'm interested in the comments you will get in response to this question. My husband is currently going through the same thing.

3:52 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous The Happy Feminist said...

I think it's always a good thing to remember that life is LONG. He'll get to where he wants to be eventually-- maybe not this year, maybe not next year, but eventually. It's early days yet. His current dissatisfaction is temporary.

5:41 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Rhonda said...

What does your husband like to do?
It seems that home-businessmen usually do what they love and probably would do for free. Computers come to mind. Some kind of unique service. Americans will pay for anything.

Your job would be to make it as easy as possible. Do not incur debt. Save. Be frugal. Be thick-skinned when he is discouraged.

I am sure you read that play they had over at LAF and Mrs. B's. I think it is called "When Queens ride by"

I love it when families become independant of employers and their ridiculous, home-breaking hours.
God bless!!
R

10:12 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Becky Miller said...

You may be able to help him accomplish baby steps toward his goals in the evenings. After dinner and he's had a chance to relax, maybe several evenings a week you and he could work together toward his business goals.

My husband appreciates it when I help him "stay on track" and focus on the next steps (we're in a similar situation). You can also ask him each night what leg work you can do for him during the next day to further the progress.

12:34 PM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Erin said...

Anonymous- that's wonderful that he found a job he's so happy with! Thanks for your advice to pray faithfully. I guess I haven't been specifically praying about this issue like I should be.

Mary Ann- Does your husband want to work for himself, too?

HF- true! I know how it is, though, when you're not where you want to be. It's hard to be patient! But keeping hope about the future IS good motivation to keep going.

Rhonda- Micah's interests center around a few main things...mostly computers (and finding ways to market things online) and real estate (building, fixing, selling, etc). We're not sure where God will eventually lead us. Maybe we'll be able to do a combination of these things!

You are so right when you say to "not incur debt"! Unfortunately, we already have plenty of that, though we have committed for the past 1 1/2 yrs not to take on anymore. Debt certainly gives less freedom, and I hope that everybody reading this takes Rhonda's advice to heart!

"When Queens Ride By" is an interesting piece definitely worth reading.

Many of us believe that it's so important for moms to be home with their children...and it is! But Micah and I feel that it's even better for dads to be home as much as possible, too. Especially if there are boys. We both hope that it works out for Micah to work largely from home someday. We love the idea of a whole family working TOGETHER...mom and kids pitching in with their own skills and interests as well...not just each person going off and doing their own thing.

12:37 PM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Erin said...

Becky- great thoughts! We've been doing this some, but I know I haven't been as intentional in this area as I could be. But this approach would work especially well for us if I tried to implement it more, because I am the details person and Micah is the visionary. I'm going to work on this!

12:42 PM, May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Emily said...

Even if he's not ready to jump into self-employment, there may be some baby-steps you can help him take in preparation for the day when he's ready to go into business for himself.

For example, is there any other position where he works that he might try and get that would be better training for eventually owning his own business? A managment position, perhaps, or something that has to do with the day-to-day finances of running a business? If so, perhaps you can help him polish up his resume by working on the content and formatting. Your writing skills should come in handy there.

And maybe you could help him keep his resume up-to-date with his current work in case another opportunity comes along elsewhere.

Or perhaps you could research entrepreneur mentoring programs that he could connect with. In my city in central Texas, there are several free organizations that offer no-cost advice and counseling to small-business owners. One example is SCORE.org--counselors are senior/elderly citizens with a lifetime of business experience they wish to share. Your local SCORE chapter, library, or university may also offer free seminars.

Or when he is ready to start his own business, I'm sure you can help him write a business plan, send mailings, research the competition, etc. and also make a restful and peaceful home for him to look forward to coming home to after putting in the long hours it takes to start a business (whether it's outside of the home or not).

I know it's frustrating for Micah to feel "stuck" in a job he doesn't like. I've been there, too. But the good news is that that is what will drive him to increase his skills, seek new opportunities, and realize his goals. If he wasn't dissatisfied, he might not make as much progress in life. If he feels he has unused potential, then he can look forward to greater things with a little hard work.

And, with you there to support him, I'm sure he already feels more confident in that fact!

6:19 PM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Becky Miller said...

This post and everyone's great ideas have really encouraged me! It's so exciting to think of all the ways we as wives can help our husbands achieve more success instead of leaving them to struggle through life and business alone. I think this is the true meaning of "helpmeet."

8:33 AM, June 01, 2006  

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