Reflections on life, marriage, and a young woman who is constantly learning how much there will always be to learn!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Growing in Marriage

Micah and I will celebrate our third anniversary this year. We now know each other well enough, and have been through enough troubles together over the past two and a half years to have dissipated most illusions we might have had about each other or marriage! The gild of novelty has been worn thin.

And yet, despite struggles and hardship and sometimes disagreement, our love continues to grow! It grows because of the grace of God, and because we work at building it. Marriage is sometimes a challenge. But it is always worth it! God has used Micah in my life to chip away at some of my selfishness and teach me to be more giving. He has blessed me with Micah's strengths of faithfulness and tenderness. Together, the two of us are setting out to further explore the areas of good communication and the how to give each other the regular encouragement we both need. I am so thankful for my husband, and his willingness for us to try to grow together!

I wanted to share a couple resources I have lately discovered that have contributed to my education in the adventure of marriage.

When we were in Arizona, Micah's family shared with us the story of their friends, the Denlingers. This is a family who has been through the death of a severely handicapped son, as well as the continual care and sacrifice involved in nourishing their severely handicapped now eighteen year-old daughter. My mother-in-law let me borrow the Denlinger's book, Joy in a Foreign Land. I was very moved by the story...and not just because of its wisdom pertaining to the importance of motherhood and the meaning to be found in the life of a disabled child. But also because of the example of how a marriage survived and thrived--through faith in God--trials more difficult than I could ever imagine. I don't know what life holds for Micah and I. But whatever it is, I hope we are ever faithful to God and each other. That is the only way our lives will be full and joyful.

Another recent blessing to our marriage has been the reading together of H. Norman Wright's book Communication - Key to Your Marriage. Wright shares practical wisdom and Scriptural truths that make us really think about the way we communicate and how we can reach each other's hearts more lovingly and effectively. Much of what he writes is basic truth. However, we are both gaining much from the reminders, and we are especially learning from the sections of the book devoted to how personality differences affect couples' communication.

Finally - wink, wink:o) - there's the subject that's given WAY too much harmful publicity and probably not enough attention within many Christian circles. For couples wanting help or encouragement concerning marital intimacy, check out the website You may or may not agree with all opinions expressed, particulary in the forums. But if you desire help in this area of your marriage, it is certainly a preferable alternative to secular self-helps.

I would be delighted to hear about what God is teaching some of you in your marriages lately, and what resources you have found helpful!


Blogger Mrs.B. said...

One of my favourite marriage books is called 'Are You Serious About Marriage?'. You can get it from

One of the things that has helped our marriage (we've been married for 14 years) is not holding grudges and not getting upset over small stuff....we learned to do these wasn't that way at first. Neither one of us came from Christian homes so we had a lot to learn about how a Godly and Biblical marriage should be lived.

1:24 PM, January 18, 2006  
Blogger Carrie said...

Thanks for sharing about the book by H. Norman Wright--it sounds really good! I think communication is still one of the things we struggle with the most, even after 6+ years--but I know it's an ongoing learning process! I think we did better at it before the children started coming along . . . just having a lot more time for just the 2 of us to talk about things.

Lately I've been reading through Elizabeth George's book A Wife After God's Own Heart. I've been blessed by all her books that I've ever read, and this one is no exception! It's very encouraging. I wish hubby and I had more time to read through marriage/spiritual growth books together. I think that would be awesome! Probably we just need to carve out the time for it, somehow . . . even if it's only a few minutes each week.

It was a blessing to read this post--I'm so happy you have more time to blog again because I love reading it! :)

4:14 PM, January 18, 2006  
Blogger Erin said...

Thanks for sharing your suggestions - I'm taking notes! We're still working on the Wright book, but will need some new ones after that. I hope the library has the ones you both mentioned!

Isn't it amazing how God can work in our lives? I know our marriage is still young, but we've been through some circumstances that might have really hurt our marriage if we had let them. Maybe I'll write more on this another time, once distance has been gained:o) Anyway...I can't imagine not having God as a cord to bind us together. No relationship can last for long if their ties to each other are merely material!

11:53 AM, January 19, 2006  
Blogger Mrs.B. said...

Hi Erin: Unfortunately the book I mentioned is not available at the library (at least I HIGHLY doubt it) but the keepers people sell their books VERY inexpensively(I think I paid $10)so if you get the chance, it is worth the read.

12:19 PM, January 19, 2006  

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