Showing That It Can Be Done!
It saddens me that our culture does not do enough to celebrate and encourage the love that should exist between husband and wife. Most love stories in movies and books take place between unmarried couples and end with the wedding.
Depictions of marriage in popular culture often leave me feeling cold: infidelity, abuse, male chauvinism, female desperation, emotional distance, fighting, and "losing one's true self" are the focus. Shows such as "Desperate Housewives" capitalize on all these themes, and even self-help shows like Oprah and Dr. Phil overwhelmingly draw attention to the negatives of marriage in their attempts to "help." Maybe we could be "helped" more by seeing examples of what marriages should look like.
I was so blessed to grow up with the example of my parents' marriage. They aren't perfect, but they chose to work on their marriage, and it shows. Right before my marriage to Micah, I was working at a Dr's office where a lot of my coworkers were in sad family situations, including one woman with the most dysfunctional family I have ever heard of. She could have been on all the daytime talkshows and not run out of things to cry about. They all thought I was naive, because I expected to have a happy marriage, and was certain that my husband would not cheat on me or abuse me in some way. They told me over and over that "I would see." They warned me to watch out, because guys will not usually remain faithful, or remain the same person they seemed before the wedding.
At first I tried to laugh off my coworkers' concerns, but as their warnings became more adament, I realized that they were very serious. I begin to understand, from hearing their stories that they had probably never even seen a happy marriage, as I had been blessed to witness not only with my parents, but with many of our relatives and friends.
I hope that as Micah and I continue to gather the years together, we can establish one of those unions that makes people pause and say, "wow. marriage is a good thing." I hope that more older couples with strong marriages--built on a strong foundation--will make themselves more visible in our culture at large, providing hope and an encouraging model for those that come behind them.
Depictions of marriage in popular culture often leave me feeling cold: infidelity, abuse, male chauvinism, female desperation, emotional distance, fighting, and "losing one's true self" are the focus. Shows such as "Desperate Housewives" capitalize on all these themes, and even self-help shows like Oprah and Dr. Phil overwhelmingly draw attention to the negatives of marriage in their attempts to "help." Maybe we could be "helped" more by seeing examples of what marriages should look like.
I was so blessed to grow up with the example of my parents' marriage. They aren't perfect, but they chose to work on their marriage, and it shows. Right before my marriage to Micah, I was working at a Dr's office where a lot of my coworkers were in sad family situations, including one woman with the most dysfunctional family I have ever heard of. She could have been on all the daytime talkshows and not run out of things to cry about. They all thought I was naive, because I expected to have a happy marriage, and was certain that my husband would not cheat on me or abuse me in some way. They told me over and over that "I would see." They warned me to watch out, because guys will not usually remain faithful, or remain the same person they seemed before the wedding.
At first I tried to laugh off my coworkers' concerns, but as their warnings became more adament, I realized that they were very serious. I begin to understand, from hearing their stories that they had probably never even seen a happy marriage, as I had been blessed to witness not only with my parents, but with many of our relatives and friends.
I hope that as Micah and I continue to gather the years together, we can establish one of those unions that makes people pause and say, "wow. marriage is a good thing." I hope that more older couples with strong marriages--built on a strong foundation--will make themselves more visible in our culture at large, providing hope and an encouraging model for those that come behind them.
posted by Erin | 1:40 PM
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