Reflections on life, marriage, and a young woman who is constantly learning how much there will always be to learn!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Showing That It Can Be Done!

It saddens me that our culture does not do enough to celebrate and encourage the love that should exist between husband and wife. Most love stories in movies and books take place between unmarried couples and end with the wedding.

Depictions of marriage in popular culture often leave me feeling cold: infidelity, abuse, male chauvinism, female desperation, emotional distance, fighting, and "losing one's true self" are the focus. Shows such as "Desperate Housewives" capitalize on all these themes, and even self-help shows like Oprah and Dr. Phil overwhelmingly draw attention to the negatives of marriage in their attempts to "help." Maybe we could be "helped" more by seeing examples of what marriages should look like.

I was so blessed to grow up with the example of my parents' marriage. They aren't perfect, but they chose to work on their marriage, and it shows. Right before my marriage to Micah, I was working at a Dr's office where a lot of my coworkers were in sad family situations, including one woman with the most dysfunctional family I have ever heard of. She could have been on all the daytime talkshows and not run out of things to cry about. They all thought I was naive, because I expected to have a happy marriage, and was certain that my husband would not cheat on me or abuse me in some way. They told me over and over that "I would see." They warned me to watch out, because guys will not usually remain faithful, or remain the same person they seemed before the wedding.

At first I tried to laugh off my coworkers' concerns, but as their warnings became more adament, I realized that they were very serious. I begin to understand, from hearing their stories that they had probably never even seen a happy marriage, as I had been blessed to witness not only with my parents, but with many of our relatives and friends.

I hope that as Micah and I continue to gather the years together, we can establish one of those unions that makes people pause and say, "wow. marriage is a good thing." I hope that more older couples with strong marriages--built on a strong foundation--will make themselves more visible in our culture at large, providing hope and an encouraging model for those that come behind them.


Blogger u said...

It is sad how marriage is depicted anymore, especially on television, but what is even sadder, are the people who watch them. I have never seen Desperate Housewives or Dr. Phil, and I can honestly say my life isn't lacking in anway. :)

The secret to long and happy marriages is simple, if you put God as your priority...then it will work, if you do not, then it won't.

Sounds too good to be true is what most people think, but really think about it!
God wants us to 'as much as depends on us as much as we are able to keep peace'--well that should stop fights, *if* your doing it.
God wants us to be submitted to our husbands--well that would sure solve a lot of problems, now wouldn it?
God wants us to love our husbands--well we're not speaking of the love that one 'feels' for someone (though that is rather nice!), but it's a choice!
God wants us to be kind, polite, forgiving, honest, loyal to our husbands--now that will sure get us a long way in marriage!

So it really is quite simple, by submitting to God, and dying to self we CAN have a great marriage. It takes work, that dying to self...but hey it keeps life from getting boring. :)

11:22 PM, July 26, 2005  
Blogger Rene' said...

It's very sad. When I first got married people would say "just wait. give it a year and you won't be so giddy over each other."

Well, we've been married over 9 years and we are still giddy. LOL

Erin, we live very close. :) I'm in Northwest Houston.

12:48 AM, July 27, 2005  

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